How To Be A Mindful Mother: Islamic Insights On Mindfulness In Motherhood
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Publié le 16 mai 2022, par Samir | 9 h 30 min
Temps de lecture : 9 minutes
Motherhood is difficult. If you are having a hard time taking care of your baby and have found yourself asking, what almost all mothers ask themselves more often than not, am I a good mom? Am I raising my child right? Know that with all the responsibilities you have, it is natural. The good thing is that Islam has guided us on how to stay serene no matter the phase of life we are in. Islam gives detailed insights into all the matters humankind has ever come up with, including the mother’s problems while taking care of the child.
A mother goes through all sorts of emotions, from bearing a child in her belly to when the child is a toddler, and it is necessary to be mindful before these emotions consume you inside. Let’s read more on how to be a mindful mother and Islamic insights on mindfulness in motherhood.
Be Honest With Your Intentions
As a mother, you will find yourself in many positions where you have to decide for your child. Your child is unaware of right and wrong, and therefore the responsibility falls upon you to keep the check and balance. Which cartoons should be on the watchlist, which storybooks to read- From A to Z, every decision is in the mother’s hands. Therefore, her intentions should align with the teachings of Allah (SWT).
While following the teachings of Islam in this modern society, you may get judged by people for being somewhat extremist or being too backward. They would say, what harm can a kid’s poem or cartoon with music in the background do to a child? But you must know Allah (SWT) has prohibited music, so it is best to ignore what others say about it.
We may agree that cartoons impact the child, but what if you use this knowledge to bring up your child in a more Islamic way? How so? There are Islamic cartoons available on Youtube that you can alternatively use to make your child adapt to the Islamic teachings from a young age.
Islamic cartoons like Nasheed for children, Umar and Hana, Flowers of Islam, and Islamic cartoons with Zaky can be a source of entertainment and learning for your toddler. There is a better way to give the teachings of Islam to your child. So if you want your kid to be on the track of Islam, you have to follow Islam.
When nourishing and bringing your child, avoid copying others’ parenting styles; you are closest to your child. You know the likes and dislikes of your child, and you know what is best. It is significant not to compare yourself to other parents since every child is unique and requires different care and environment to prosper.
Over time, you will realize the things that work for you might not work for others. So it is best not to compete with any mother but instead do what is best and is under the shade of the teachings of Islam. We can observe in modern-day society that some parents are too shy to practice Islam. They find it hard to obey the rules of Allah (SWT) without getting the fear of being shunned by society, so they do what is unanimously accepted by society but not by Allah (SWT).
In such a case, a parent should own this religion and practice it without fear, as they play an essential role in planting the seeds of faith in the child. The child will adapt to parents, especially the mother, and will be more confident and in sync with Islam if the mother is in sync with it.
Set Achievable Goals For Your Children
Most mothers wish to teach their children everything in as short an amount of time as possible. So they set unreal milestones for their children, like memorizing six Kalimas in a week. However, this is not the most brilliant move. Although it is a proud moment for a mother when her toddler recites Kalimas in front of everyone in some family gatherings, it is also essential to stay within the child’s capabilities.
So what you can do is set small and achievable milestones for your children and celebrate or treat them with some sweets every time they achieve one. In this way, they will grow up and become a confident adult with more love for religion.
Make Every Moment Special
Your child’s childhood will pass by in a flash. Therefore, you have to make every moment memorable for your child. Moreover, it’s a great way to make your child feel loved.
If you wonder what to celebrate with your child, the first recitation of Bismillah, first Namaz, and first Fast can be an outstanding achievement for your child and worth every celebration. However, you do not necessarily have to wait for these once-a-lifetime moments to make your child feel appreciable- you can spend quality time every day to make them feel loved. Whether it’s a stroll in the evening or a water fight in the afternoon, taking an active part in activities with your kid will make their day memorable and joyful. Moreover, it will create a strong bond between a mother and a child.
Live The Present
It should be our firm belief that Allah (SWT) has planned everything for us. From when we are born to when we take our last breath, Allah (SWT) has written our Rizq. So why do we not focus on the present instead worry so much about what will happen later? You get too worried about your children- they are in their childhood, and you are already thinking about their future expenses. Remember, Allah (SWT) will always help you care for your offspring. So it’s better not to let yourself be consumed in the worries of the future and be grateful to Allah (SWT) for all the blessings you have.
Apologize Where It’s Due
Our respected religion, Islam, has taught us to apologize if we do anyone wrong. Although it might seem odd for parents to apologize to their children, especially a father who has a strong character, apologizing to your children will indirectly teach them to be humble and apologize to anyone irrespective of age and status. If parents are more open to accepting their wrongs and take the necessary steps to rectify them, the children will adapt to this and grow to be better Muslim individuals.
Some Ways To Upbring Your Child Into A Practicing Muslim
Since mothers are the first institution for a child, they are role models to their children, and their every action is inspirational to them. Let’s see how you can bring out the positive behavior in your child.
Read Quran In Front of Your Children
For starters, make a habit of reciting the Quran in front of your toddlers. Quran is the book of Allah (SWT) and a primary source of guidance for the Muslim Ummah. Reciting Quran in front of your children will help them get fond of it at a young age. They will show a keen interest in what the mother is reciting. Although they might not understand the scripture, the recitation will get imprinted in their memory, which will help them stay close to the deen.
Offer Salah On Time
Allah (SWT) has obligated 5-time prayers a day on us and expects us to be punctual with it. It is crucial to teach your sons and daughters the importance of these prayers, but for young children, you have to show them the importance of prayers by offering them regularly.
When you hear the Adhaan (call for prayer), tell your partner to walk towards the mosque and as for yourself, forget all the chores you need to do and unfold your prayer mat. Your son will follow the steps of his father, and your daughter will follow you. Without showing strictness, you will make 5-time prayers a habit for everyone in the house.
Do not Be Too Strict Or Harsh Towards Your Children.
We understand that sometimes children are not easy to handle. They do everything to be as annoying as possible and not listen to anything you say. But Islam teaches us to treat our offspring with kindness and not be harsh or rude towards them.
Demonstrate your love for them
Allah (SWT) has softened the hearts of mothers towards their children, which is no less than a blessing of Allah (SWT). Shower your children with love since this is the teachings of Islam.
Treat Your Children Equally
Although a mother testifies her love to be equal for all her children, she can subconsciously prioritize one over another. For instance, sons get more attention than daughters in many households when given opportunities. Similarly, there is always a conflict between the youngest and the eldest child in the house about who gets more love from the parents- A mother’s bias can only fume to this conflict.
Also, those who received discrimination from their parents get an inferiority complex. Thus, grow to become unconfident individuals.
Importance Of Mother In Islam
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” (31:14).
A mother has to face a lot of hardships in raising a child, and so Allah (SWT) has promised high rewards in this life and hereafter. Moreover, the sacrifices of a mother can never get compensated by her children. Furthermore, she holds a higher position than a father. Not that fathers are any less important, but the mother’s sacrifices have helped her gain a higher position than her partner. And when it comes to the rights of parents, the Messenger of Allah (SWT) said,
“You must do good to your mother, then your mother, once your mother, then your father, near and nearest” (Bukhari).
Parenting is undoubtedly a challenging task, and a mother single-handedly caters for everything. But it is also essential to not lose yourself in the process and always be mindful of what Islam has taught. Never do something against Islam, like letting your children listen to music, and always celebrate their little achievements and make their everyday special. Moreover, to develop a love for Islam in your children, practice Islam in front of them. So they grow up to be better Muslims.
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