7 Effective Tips on How to Raise Successful Kids According to Islam
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Publié le 17 juin 2022, par Samir | 16 h 42 min
Temps de lecture : 9 minutes
We all wish to see our children succeed. Success has different meanings for different individuals. Studies prove that successful children have had mindfulness and intelligent parenting involved. Let’s read more and learn seven (7) effective tips on how to raise successful kids according to Islam.
7 Effective Tips on How to Raise Successful Kids According to Islam
Children are one of the most beautiful creations from Allah (SWT) who have been sent to this world as Amanah. Being parents, our Lord, The Gracious, will ask us about that Amanah, what we did to them, and how we raised them. It’s like kids are a valuable present from the Almighty, and we must raise them dutifully and with complete devotion.
It is upon Muslim parents to take full responsibility for their upbringing, keep them protected and raise them as productive and valuable members of the Islamic society. Muslim kids should be integral in shaping a pure, just, and healthy Islamic society.
Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) said, « When a man dies, his action discontinues from him except three things, namely, perpetual sadaqah (charity), or the knowledge by which benefit is acquired, or a pious child who prays for him. » [Sunan Abi Dawud]
Raising children is a tedious task for parents, mainly if you are a first-time parents. Parenting doesn’t have a user guide, so you have to set rules and decide what’s suitable for your children and what’s not. However, our religion comes with a comprehensive guide in the form of the Holy Book, Al Qur’an, and the Prophet’s Sunnah. By following the Quranic guidelines and acting upon the pious footprints of our prophet and his progeny, we can learn how to raise successful kids both in this world and hereafter.
Parenting Stages in Islam
« Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that). »
– Holy Prophet Muhammed (PBUH)
If we pause for a while and ponder what this hadith is trying to address, we will realize that our Prophet (PBUH) offers us an excellent piece of guidance through his hadith. It helps us categorize the parenting cycle into three distinct stages.
From Age 0 to 7
This stage is the most challenging yet fun if done right. The first seven years of a child are the most crucial concerning his health and physical and mental development. Let them play, explore and interact with them as much as possible. Create a close bond with them without being clingy or over-protective. When a child is growing up, he wants to learn new things explore the surroundings, and observe all that comes his way.
Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) said, « The person who has a child should behave like a child with him. »
Children learn the most from their parents or teachers at this crucial developmental stage. Keep checking their normal behavior, likes, and dislikes and build a strong relationship with them. The type of bond you have with your child in the first seven years shapes his self-confidence and emotional well-being.
It is narrated from the Prophet (PBUH): « Do not hit your babies since their crying has a meaning. The first four months of crying is professing the unity of Allah (SWT), the second 4 months of crying is sending blessings upon the Prophet (PBUH) and his family, and the third four months of crying is the baby; praying for the parents. »
From Age 7 to 14
By age 7, children are on the road to asking for logical reasoning. They loved to ask questions and learn about different subjects. It is an ideal time to let them explore religion and learn Islamic principles, basic ethics, and morals. Children are ready to absorb anything we feed into their minds at this age. He learns from our actions, words, and behaviors more than anything else.
By making the most of the second phase of parenting, we can teach them about our religious practices, the difference between Halal and Haram, and everything about morals and ethics. These years are also the best for children to learn different skills, including games and sports. Our Prophet (PBUH) has advised Muslims to teach their children swimming, archery, and horseback riding. These sports activities teach children many beneficial skills, including leadership, empathy, patience, and team spirit.
When children grow and learn together, we can teach them mannerisms in their daily routine. How to sit, how not to litter, and how to interact with their peers and fellows. Remember, the parent must teach the child how to become a productive and peace-loving member of society. Build up certain boundaries for them without taking away the leverage to interact and decide what they choose to do. Tell them lovingly if they make a mistake and satisfy their curiosity by giving them a satisfactory answer.
From Age 14 to 21
As children grow up and reach 14, they start building their personalities; they want freedom in their choices and decisions. In times of digital exposure, when kids have access to all kinds of content, parents must be watchful yet close to their kids. Speak to them in a friendly tone, sit with them and discuss subjects that intrigue their interest. Try to understand what is happening in their life and reach out to them in case they need any emotional support.
However, don’t be too harsh on them; they are growing up and exploring life from their spectacles. Let them make choices for themselves without intruding or being inconsiderate. Give them enough space to flourish at their pace, but be present for them. Make sure that your children realize that you will be there to assist them if they face a challenging time in life.
Be their role model
“Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people is a guardian and is responsible for them; a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them; a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges.” [Sahih Bukhari]
Childhood is the time when children are continuously learning, evolving, and growing. At this phase, parents must play an integral part in their well-being and upbringing. Your actions determine how your child interacts with his surroundings and fellow kids.
Hence, be the role model your child wants to seek inspiration from. Be their cheerleader, mentor, and advisor and ensure them that he should not feel alone during tough times as he grows up. However, parents should also understand that their children can find inspiration in other people. So give them the leverage to make someone their role model besides their parents. We want to do effective parenting, not overparenting.
Praise kids for their achievements
They sense the authenticity of our actions and words. So praise them for their accomplishments. Let them feel joy in the experiences.
Our kids need our reassurance and encouragement. Let them feel that you are proud of them even if they could not perform too well. Strive for ways to cultivate a healthy and warm relationship with your child where he always feels nurtured and accepted.
Be kind to your kids
Kindness has been emphasized on numerous occasions in the Holy Qur’an and Sunnah. The Last Prophet of Allah, Hazrat Muhammad’s (PBUH) entire life, is an excellent example of kindness and mercy. He practiced empathetic behavior with his family and companions but also enemies.
So, taking inspiration from the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), teach kids how to be kind towards parents and other friends and family. If they make a mistake, teach them how to fix it without scolding or hitting them. Children learn more quickly through our warm behavior instead of harsh reactions.
Moreover, we belong to a religion that teaches kindness, mercy, and peace. So as parents, we must ensure to teach kindness, empathy, and goodness to our children for their success and prosperity.
It is narrated that a man once came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: “I have never kissed my child.” The Prophet (PBUH) said: “Surely a man like this will be a resident of the fire of hell.”
Help them develop great relationships
Teaching children about developing good relationships is also crucial so they can form their own as they grow up.
Teach your kids to turn toward when the people they admire ask for their attention. Similarly, make them understand how to turn down calls for attention politely. As parents, we must also teach kids how to appreciate others loudly. Cultivate an environment at your home where family members exchange compliments and let each other know what they like about them.
Boost their self-confidence
These children are fragile and too sensitive to accept our harsh attitudes. Make sure you appreciate them and boost their self-confidence. Teach them that it’s okay to go through failure. Reassure them that they can achieve all their goals.
Upbringing starts from home, and parents have a pivotal role to play in building the emotional skills of their kids. Children whose parents teach confidence and a positive attitude from early childhood are more successful than those who experience bullying or emotional abuse.
Delegate them small tasks
“Nay, and by the moon, And by the night when it withdraws, And by the dawn when it brightens, Verily, it is but one of the greatest calamities. A warning to humankind, To any of you that chooses to go forward (by doing righteous deeds), or to remain behind (by committing sins), Every person is beheld (accountable) on their deeds.” [Qur’an; Chapter 74, Verses 32-38]
By delegating small tasks to children, we make them productive and responsible. Children love to take leadership roles and make sure to perform a task dedicatedly if you assign them one. They feel accepted and become more independent and responsible. However, this does not mean overwhelming them with challenging tasks. Simply asking them to bring their plate to the kitchen, make their bed, etc., can make them feel responsible.
Draw boundaries for them
Setting certain boundaries for ourselves and our children is crucial to maintaining the right balance. Parents are the ones who can make some rules and limitations and counsel their kids on how and why to follow those rules. Keep it simple and engagingly explain them. Appreciate them for respecting their boundaries and reward them for acting upon those guidelines.
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